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< i dont know >

September 07, 2003
8:43 p.m.

wow that long ago? haha but its not like anyone reads it. cept maybe Ghost and that def. counts for something. P>

i had a sad urge again today. lately. the suicidal feel is creeping under the door of my sanity again. its just a small itch right now.. something you think is there but when you turn around its no longer touching you. its so light but i know its there.

i miss it. i miss the touch of another loved one.. i never had someone who really looked me in the face and stroked my hair and said 'youre beautiful' ya know? thats what id love. i know why though. why should they lie to me. i always wanted someone who would just pay attention to my body enough to make me have goosebumps. im..

i decided today that i would make an appointment with the doctor and get a prescription for zoloft. ive heard good things and i think i need something. im deteriorating as the days go by and i get deeper into skool. i cant concentrate longer than 15 mins in skool each period. ive been rejected already by peers.

agh i dont know what to do anymore.

muzik: chevelle-closure

feeling: self loathing, depression

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