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< where is my life..? oh.. under ..a rock? >

2003-05-11
8:14 p.m.

been a few days since i wrote. i like to do a day to day basis type of thing. well... i went down to Machias, downeast Maine... god its so boring. heres me, dressed in spikes and all black (by coincidence. i look good in it haha) and heads turn. it is a small town afterall. but anyways that was boring. i had to see my sister's bf's graduation... 3 hours of nothing.

never have i felt so isolated. ive always been the youngest middle child for some reason. treated like middle but actually youngest. my sister is the overachiever, pretty, more bubbly one who can make friends with anyone within a minute. ya i love her but she gets annoying. yet shes the one that gets drunk every night or so. ~sigh~ and lets just say im none of that. im very nice and interesting when im talked to but most dont want to risk that.

ive missed my friends as ive missed being connected to someone i love. i miss getting phonecalls and being invited and wanted.. oh schitt ignore my ramblings. i feel a pity streak coming to. Congrats to Ghost on his new job ;)

watching the Simpsons, dreading tomorrow, my weekend having been blown.

its hard when theres little you can do knowing damn well theres this amazing world awaiting you outside. need money and death of my parentals.

so i guess ill go try and sleep.

muzik: wow.. for once i dont... been playing with my computer all night so i havent had time to keep any music on.

feeling: not-so-appetizing appetizer of regret, side order of abjection and a main serving of desertion

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